I Choose To Be Happy
by Everlane
Summary: Prequel of A Boy Named Handro. The early beginning before Handro was born, told through the eyes of Tammy, Rachel's personal assistant and best friend.


**Author's Note **

Oh my goodness. I'm still working on _There's Gold In Every Moment_, but I'm so stuck in one area right now. Please guys. If you have any ideas on how to get out of this writer's block, please tell me. I'm like so confused right now. I was trying so hard to focus on it.

But then I listened to Rihanna's new song, _Diamonds_, and it was over. I was so inspired to write the prequel to _A Boy Named Handro_, so I came up with this piece. But I want so badly to stay on track and finish the other pieces, so please give me some motivation. I need it badly. I'm literally on my knees begging you all. But anyways, since I promised the prequel, this seems like a good time to produce it.

I don't own the show by the way.

* * *

**I Choose To Be Happy**

It's not like their blood kin or anything. It's just that they have been together so long. She was in a desperate situation at twenty seven, living from shelter to shelter on a dollar a day diet. She met her because she tried to steal money from her purse in a cafe, but the struggling actress ended up taking her in her tiny apartment. She fed her a whole week's meal with _dessert _and since then, they've been inseparable.

She found a job and paid part of the bills, opting to cover three fourths of it because she wanted to give her best friend more time to devote to acting. In just a month, Rachel got a lead role in a play, and ever since, she took Broadway by storm.

Tammy saw the roles coming, and soon, they didn't need to stay in their crappy apartment anymore. She saw her friend on billboards, magazines, television, all over New York and beyond, feeling so glad that she finally achieved her dreams.

They lived comfortably in a nice looking house, with Tammy hired as her personal assistant who was in charge of supervising most of the duties at home. There were no worries. Tammy used the large money she earned from her job to go to college for business management, but still stayed with Rachel to help her with her career. Life was sweet, and for someone who was famous, Rachel was still the nurturing student she met in that cafe years ago.

Then she met her. The lawyer.

At first, she didn't really think much about the lawyer speaking to Rachel because celebrities only made friends with celebrities. It's normal for them to talk on a daily basis. But the lawyer -Santana Lopez- was wealthy, so wealthy that it was rumored that her assets surpassed New York's top billionaires. She was a powerful woman too, who also inherited old money from her family out of state. Tammy learned that the lawyer was married, and a supportive advocate for gay and lesbian rights despite her deep connections to some well known rich conservatives.

When she met her, she knew that she wasn't going to like the woman. Wealth as big as hers equaled trouble, and she smelled it whenever her friend spent time with her. She just couldn't help it.

"So what's she like?" she asked, quietly asking the cook to cut onions on the chop block in order to start the soup. Rachel was in the living room, legs propped under her as she watched television.

She smiled, "What's who like?"

"The lawyer."

The actress laughed, then looked at her friend, pausing to find just the right words to respond with, "She's an old friend. We went to different high schools. She's intelligent with a wicked sense of humor, and she invited me to dinner next week. What else should I add?"

"How about if she's flirting with you?"

Rachel's smile soon vanished. She turned back around to watch the television, brows furrowed as Diane Sawyer spoke of a hurricane that hit New Jersey. Tammy went back to supervising the cook and the remaining staff in the other areas of the house. Throughout the day, she wasn't bothered that Rachel was suddenly cold to her, but because she was flirting with danger in the form of that woman.

* * *

Over the coming months, she learned from the staff that the lawyer was visiting more often. Especially when none of the staff members were around, including her. It even irked her more when magazines started picking up on the two women, showing intimate pictures of them in restaurants and on beaches. Rachel started to disappear from her home, sometimes for more than a week before she came back, not bothering to tell Tammy where she was off to or whether she left because of work.

The more she disappeared, the more the pictures of her with the lawyer appeared over every front cover. Then more money started pouring in the house, most of them from unknown sources, which meant that the lawyer was somehow giving them money without tracing it back to her.

"You know she can't leave her wife just for you, right?" Tammy said in a clam voice when Rachel came home that early morning, taking off her platform heels. "Rache, the woman isn't going to take you seriously. The press know. You're screwing with her, and that's going to damage your reputation."

The actress took her heels in her hands and dumped them in a corner, walking inside the kitchen under the fluorescent light. It was then that Tammy realized she was crying, and by instinct, she quickly hugged her friend close as she began to sob.

Later in the afternoon, she found the lawyer with her partner on the front pages of Time magazine, overseeing a political event in Washington, D.C. She understood then.

* * *

A year or so passed, then life went back to normal. Rachel was at the height of her game, with a past far behind her. She got cast in a Chris Nolan film, that later won an Oscar. Tammy vividly remembers them all dressed up in the award ceremony, so happy with tears. Rachel seems as though she is back to normal self, but only Tammy knew that she wasn't complete.

* * *

She was running errands one day. It's normal, one of those days where everything becomes a blur and the only thing you remember is you getting ready for the next day. Rachel traveled to London for a show there, and hadn't been home for one month. So Tammy had the house to herself to maintain, while she enjoyed most of her friend's luxuries. No offense. She just can't stay away from the showers.

She went to a bookstore to purchase some books for her summer reads, unaware that a familiar face was right next to her in the same aisle. She was heading in in one direction with a book in front of her face, before she bumped roughly into the same person and began to apologize because the person had a stack of books that toppled all over the floor.

After she collected the books, she rose up and froze, finally seeing who she bumped into. "Oh...I'm sorry. These are your stuff," She gave them back to Santana, turning to leave the spot.

But before she did, "How's your boss?"

She could start telling her to lay off Rachel, but the truth was that she couldn't do that. Rachel and the woman had to sort things out, but hopefully Rachel already moved on. And if she did tell the lawyer to piss off, she had a feeling that Santana wouldn't give a shit. Rich people did what they wanted because they had the money for it. _What?_ It's true.

"She's good," she said.

Santana narrowed her eyes, keeping them on Tammy until she started squirming. For a lawyer, she still looked frightening even in a summer dress without the tight bun she often wore in court. She looked as soft as any woman could look with her hair down, but she still appeared deadly. "You know where she's at?"

"You read the news," Tammy said. "She's in London, at a show."

The lawyer nodded, seeming to accept that she Tammy put her up to the chase. Tammy didn't have time to waste, so when she was about to tell the lawyer a piece of her mind before she turned away, Santana said, "When she comes back. Tell her I said hi."

Tammy agreed, but she never did what the woman asked.

* * *

_You're a shooting star I see  
A vision of ecstasy  
When you hold me, I'm alive  
We're like diamonds in the sky_

She didn't care if she was over thirty. She loved Rihanna, and ever since she got to meet her thanks to Rachel, she'd invested in each album she recorded. Her latest theme song is _Diamonds_, so she played it wherever she went in her car. When she finally managed to drag her friend out for a girl's day outside, she didn't think much when she played the music.

She was singing along to it as she drove over the highway. With the wind blowing her hair, she was practically dancing in her seat. She looked at Rachel to sing to her, but her singing trailed off when she saw how deep in thought the girl was. She knew that Rachel was so busy with work, and that could have been why she was so silent, but it took being Rachel's friend to know the truth.

"Hey," she called, paying attention to the road. Rachel looked up, brown eyes suddenly alert as if she was shaken asleep. "You alright? They say I'm also the best listener in all of New York."

Rachel smiled, "They do, huh?"

"Yep. Won six awards in the past two years."

Her friend laughed out loud. It was so contagious that Tammy started to laugh too, nodding her head to the beat of the music. "Diamonds in the sky. I like that."

"You're supposed to like my taste in music, Ms. Streisand."

Rachel stuck her tongue out before slapping Tammy's shoulder, "That's nice to hear. You dislike my taste in music."

"More like despise," Another slap. "Sorry."

She drove more in silence, until Rachel spoke. "She's been calling me a lot."

"She managed to find your number?" A nod. "Do you answer?"

"I tried avoiding it for four months." _What? _"Then I decided I needed to hear her voice. So we talked."

Tammy frowned, "About what?"

"I don't want to be in a relationship with her," she said. "But it's difficult pulling yourself away from a magnet. If you know what I mean."

"Yeah, if you're made of metal." she said, earning a withering glare. "Okay. I'm sorry. But you know how I feel about people like that. She has it going for her, and I hate the thought of her using you or anything..."

"I know."

* * *

She still wasn't able to get Rachel to open up more, but she waited regardless. She sat on the sidelines and watched her friend keep to herself. All she was happy with was that she now knew that Rachel was fall back into that woman's arms. She wasn't happy it was happening, just that she knew it was happening. That way, she could really curse the bitch out.

One day, she was at the grocery store after her shift was over. She was out in the early evening, so she came late at night to a dark house. She had her own wing she lived in, but she just wanted to make a quick snack for Rachel and herself. They usually did that on Friday nights, so this was no exception.

When she got inside, she started to hear noises, but thought it was just something insignificant. Like maybe Rachel walking in her room or wandering in the living room. But she listened closely the more she came inside the room. The shuffling of clothes, soft sighs, and light smacking. Tammy didn't need to venture any further. She quietly placed the frozen dinners in the fridge, tuning out the noises, before leaving the area.

She wasn't sure whether she was more worried of Rachel or what. But now, all she could do was to step back and see what happened at this point. For the lawyer to suddenly surge back into Rachel's life, there has to be something even she couldn't understand between them.

She came around 11:30am the next morning. When she started to call the late comers in, Rachel was a burst of energy. She's smiled all over and was obviously happy, a far cry from the recluse she's been for the past couple of years. "What's gotten you in such a great mood?"

"Oh nothing." she replied, grabbing an apple.

"Oh yeah?"

Rachel blinked, "Oh my God."

Tammy snickered, before leaning over to pat Rachel's arm.

"I may not be very friendly to her, but I'll support you on this one." Rachel smiled, turned rushed over to hug her friend. "I'll still tell her to fuck off if she screws with you." Her friend hugged her more.

"Thanks, Tam."

* * *

She shouldn't have said that.

_Really._

It started with three of them, and that wasn't much of a problem because they've had that when Rachel was starting off as a big time actress. But then the next month came, and she woke up early morning to see eight of them lurking outside. The paparazzi. The magazines started picking up on the women, and by the next week, large headlines were all over New York. _Entertainment lawyer seen with Broadway Star. Lopez heir caught in a lip lock with Broadway Goddess. An affair reignites after two years. _It went on and on, until Tammy realized that her friend jumped into trouble.

The wife called. She was furious, threatening to make sure her friend's life was a living hell if she did not tell her where she was with Santana. Tammy didn't know where Rachel went to, but she didn't like the tone of the wife's voice over the phone. She made sure she cursed as much as the bitch did before she hanged up on her.

One morning, she saw them together on the cover of People magazine. They were on a beach, one of those times when Rachel would disappear for more than three weeks without notice. She was hoping that this was photo-shopped. But when you see your best friend straight up all over someone else, you just know it's them. There's no one else.

She's had people bombard her on a daily basis. But she doesn't care when she sees Santana with her. To New York, Santana was this detached, dangerous, and crazy bitch. But with Rachel, she was still mostly quiet, but had a relaxed aura about her that Tammy liked seeing.

They were at a picnic with some of Rachel's closest celebrity friends that Tammy is also friends with. When she gets herself busy chatting with one, she looks back to see Rachel placing a peck on the sleeping woman's cheek. Santana rouses from her small nap, smiles, then pulls Rachel down in the hammock with her. Tammy then decides that it wasn't just Rachel she was going to protect, but the happiness she felt with Santana.

* * *

She had a week off.

And she had this idea that she was going to come back to work seeing the house exactly how she left it. But that wasn't the case. The front lawn had tire tracks all over when she arrived. A car was gracefully parked right outside Rachel's house. It's front inches from her door. Glass was shattered on a few windows, and yelling filled the entire complex. The wife was here.

"What you are is a cheap slut!" She got in the living room, stunned to see Rachel standing by the counter while a blonde woman cursed her out. "You think you stole my partner from me? Well guess again, because you'll be back in that ditch where I dumped you those years ago, you filthy piece of shit!"

So _this_ was Catherine J. Lopez.

"M'aam-"

The blonde whirled around, eyes wide. "Don't you dare try to calm me down!"

"Tam. You're off for today." Rachel said. "I'll handle this."

"Like you handled-"

Then it was Rachel's time to start cursing. And when she did, let's just say that Tammy had her ears full. The two women were almost at it physically but Tammy managed to pull Rachel back before she grabbed the blonde. Mrs. Lopez said some crude stuff then, stuff that had Tammy using all her strength to pull Rachel back more, because Rachel really wanted to kill that lady.

* * *

"How do you do it?" she asked one day while scribbling in her notebook, watching Rachel quietly read a script on the linoleum counter of the kitchen they stood in. "Those bitches talking about you on that talk show. How do you even sit still when they judge you like that?"

Rachel smiled, then looked back down at the article, "There's so much goodness in your life that it's easy to forget about the bad things nowadays." Then she added, "One article out of several can't harm me."

Tammy still didn't understand, in fact, she was a bit more frustrated than before. But Rachel turned away from the script to prepare tea, walking purposefully over to Tammy to hand her the steaming cup.

"Tea always calms me down." She nodded, then took a sip, sighing when the hot liquid rushed down. "Don't bother too much about me, Tam. Worry more about yourself."

"Can't help it," she muttered.

Rachel smiled. "That's wonderful to hear. But really, don't fret too much about the show. I have a feeling that Santana contacted them right after."

"She has the time to watch a talk show?"

Warm brown eyes gleamed. "Not exactly. But she does have time to make an afternoon trip around Times Square."

The next day, those same bitches publicly apologized to _Ms. Berry. _

* * *

"Right there?"

Rachel winced at Tammy's hands on the sides of her breasts, nodding. "It just feels a bit more sensitive."

Tammy slowly nodded.

She tried to tell herself that this just wasn't possible, so maybe I was something else. But she just couldn't help but notice the changes. One morning, she stopped inside the kitchen, expecting to find Rachel there like she used to most of the time. But she wasn't.

"Where is she?"

The cook muttered, "In the bathroom, vomiting."

"She's sick?"

The old women rolled her eyes, "Apparently, my soup is getting to her. Look, it's not everyday that someone doesn't like my cooking."

* * *

Tammy stormed in the living room, stopping when she saw her friend relaxed on the couch. She's pissed, but seeing Rachel so tired made the anger die down. She threw the stacks of magazines in her hands on the coffee table, but Rachel never bothered to look at them.

"What's this?" Tammy asked, gesturing towards the fronts of the magazines on the coffee table. Rachel still didn't respond. "Are you shitting me, Rachel? How could you guys plan this without telling me? What about the the show you were supposed to star in next year?"

"She doesn't know. And it's none of your business."

Tammy blinked. "You did it yourself."

"We were planning to. She wanted me to wait." Rachel shifted in her seat, absenting placing a hand over her stomach. "I couldn't, because she takes too long to make her decisions. My mind is made up."

"Is this some crude way of getting back at her wife?" Tammy yelled. "Because if that is, then you're being insane!"

Rachel frowned, "Was I insane when I took you in?"

Tammy froze, then sighed.

"Yeah, you were."

Rachel smiled, then patted the spot next to her. Tammy dropped herself over, then allowed herself to be pulled into a half hug. She returned the favor, kissing Rachel's cheek. "You two are gonna be the death of me."

Her friend laughed.

* * *

She's never seen Santana angry, and when she did, it wasn't pretty. The woman was livid, but Rachel took it in stride, waiting until the storm was over while nursing a cup of water. When it was all over, Tammy almost fell off her chair when Santana asked, "So how far along are you?"

"Four," Rachel said quietly.

The lawyer sighed, then pulled Rachel into a hug. Tammy shook her head when she watched her kissed the top of her head, hugging her close. Another sucker for Rachel Berry.

* * *

It took only a few weeks for the divorce to be settled. Word went out that Catherine J. Lopez left the manor she and Santana shared, so Tammy found herself helping a pregnant Rachel into the mansion while an army of moving trucks surrounded the complex.

Of course, cameras snapped everywhere. They just had to. And they had journalists following them all the way to the door. Four bodyguards kept them away from the mob as they made their way inside. In the distance, slurs were sent in Rachel's direction from some advocates not too far from them. Tammy knew that they were pissed at the whole scandal because Santana's image as a well respected advocate was tarnished. But really. It's not their fucking business.

Santana is right on Rachel's side an hour later when she returned from work. Despite the fact that her image was going down the drain, she acted as if Rachel was going to fall on her stomach any minute. To Tammy, the whole scene was hilarious. They were so concerned about each other, that the commotion going on outside didn't really matter.

* * *

She and formal events didn't go well together. It just didn't. Look, if you want her to prove it to you, she could tell you that she once had her mom chase her around her house just to wear a dress. God bless her soul. That's how bad it was. Because formal events -_weddings_- meant skirts, and that shit didn't work with her.

It looked like it didn't work well for Santana either.

"How are you doing?" she asked, sipping a glass of wine.

"I hate it."

The woman nodded, keeping a close eye on her partner who stood not too far away. For a well known lawyer who's probably the richest of the rich, it irked Tammy to see her standing in the darkest part of the room while her wife was surrounded by many celebrities.

"Tammy?" She hummed in response. "I want to thank you."

Santana then turned, looking at Tammy for the first time that night. She talked without looking at people a lot. "It gets upsetting seeing people talk about her like that. Thanks for being a supporter."

Tammy smiled, turning away to watch her boss being twirled in a white dress that barely hid the swell of her belly. "She supported me, and now, it's my turn."

The lawyer nodded.

* * *

4:00am

When the baby is born, Tammy forgot about the press. Literally. Because the baby was all that mattered, wrapped up in a tiny bundle of her joy. Birthed from a whirl of shit in her existence. He was born only an hour ago, barely crying when he was out. He just whimpered, instantly quieting once he was placed in her mommy's arms.

The birth took a while, but Rachel was a fighter, so there was no stopping her. The midwife didn't need to do much, but just coach the woman, who took it upon herself to push her son out as hard as she could. Santana was finding any way to be useful, but she definitely calmed down after helping Rachel by sitting behind her in the pool where Handro came out.

Handro squirmed inside his bundle, but he snuggled more into her arms. She kissed his forehead, keeping her lips there for a bit. When she pulled back, she nuzzled her nose over his head, saying, "You're such a sweet boy, born in a screwed up world."

"Language, Tam."

"Sorry." she murmured in Rachel's direction.

He looked nothing like Rachel. Which was the amazing part. Even though he came through an unnatural way into the world, he looked every bit like Santana, who was fast asleep on the bed. When he opened his eyes earlier, and gazed at her, she was so stunned about the resemblance that she had to remind herself that she was carrying him.

He was going to have one bumpy ride. That's for damn sure. But then again, he was born the son of two powerful women. He was going to be alright, and Tammy vowed to be there for him along the way. The baby opened his eyes again, blinking at her. A smile flickered over his lips, before it disappeared.

_Handro._

When Handro becomes a toddler, he's a little ball of energy. Even at three months, he bounced in his mommy's arm whenever he heard music. By one, he would lunge himself at food so much that she always had to keep him in check. His first word was, 'you witch!', to a reporter who harassed his mommy. Well, first words, but it had his mothers panicking about his taste for foul language.

Handro was like any boy, except he was a tad worse. His parents had to keep their eyes on him even when he slept, but they loved him regardless. Amidst the shit going on with the press about them, Handro was all that mattered.

Tammy watched the now young man playing soccer with his friends in the backyard. He's the tallest of the bunch, but was quick and agile, scoring more points for his team. She watched Santana with Rachel next to her in the audience, cheering Handro on with Isabel gurgling in Santana's arms. She laid back in her seat and listened to her old time favorite, _Diamonds,_ can couldn't help thinking of her two best friends when she heard the song. They _were_ like two diamonds in the sky.

* * *

**End Note**

Please remember to read the note above. I do really need help with writer's block. If you have any suggestions, feel free to let them be known. Hoped you enjoyed this prequel, because I spent the entire day getting it done. Feel free to post feedback, because that would be much appreciated, and I love seeing what you all think about it.


End file.
